If I have seen farther than others it is because I myself am a giant

Since the dawn of our existence, human beings have always sought to improve ourselves. It is an intrinsic aspiration inherent in our being and those who take the struggle upon themselves are revered for their pursuit in history, literature, poetry, and those feel good pieces that NBC runs during the Olympics about that third world guy who swims the 100m freestyle despite never seeing water before and his mother dying a month ago only after revealing that he was adopted and that the man who he thought was his real father had actually brutally murdered his biological parents. But while we hold those who try in esteem, the true praise is reserved for those who actually succeed. Do you really think people would care about the US Hockey team if they lost the miracle on ice? No, we would have patted them on their backs for trying and gone back to caring about good sports.

Today, I have joined the ranks of those successful few through my own hard work and accomplishment. I bowled a 200 game. This tops my previous high score of 197, giving me a new leading digit. And while my hard work and preparation consisted mostly of consuming the two beers I had leading up to the game (and the one afterward), my story is no less inspiring. And now all I have to do is sit back and reap the forthcoming rewards and wait for the women to throw themselves at me. So if there are any sexy ladies out there reading this and the knowledge that I have bowled a 200 game makes you feel all tingly inside, I'll be here holding my breath.