"I asked my friend who she was. He said 'oh, that's Katie Baines. She's way out of your league.' But I kept trying and eventually I got lucky" - Matt
Once again I have failed to update this thing in a while. And to all the people who came out of the woodwork to reveal that they read this and to complain that there hasn’t been any new posts (and there are a surprising number of you), I gave them all the same response: My life has been amazingly boring lately and have not had anything to write about. Somehow I can’t make “I sat around my apartment all day and ate some hot pockets” sound very exciting.
Well finally one of you did something about it. My cousin Katie decided to get married so that I’d have something to talk about. You can all thank her for taking one for the team. It’s good to see someone finally step up and take responsibility for my actions.
So this weekend I flew to New Jersey to bear witness to her matrimony to a guy named Matt. My Dad’s side of the family is not overly close and pretty much only get together for weddings and funerals this was a rather rare chance to see and catch up with everyone. And what better way to catch up than to drink copious amounts of alcohol?
Yeah, so after the rehearsal dinner on Friday my sister, a few of my cousins, and I found ourselves in a slightly inebriated state (read: totally wasted). It was at the rehersal dinner, by the way, that Matt said the little gem of a quote I have in my subject line in a speech describing how fortunate he was to have met Katie. We all laughed at the embaressed boy for several minutes. Anyway, I haven’t had this much to drink in a very long time and I don’t think I have ever had before without invoking the name of “Team Castle.” It really wasn’t our fault, though, as we were present at an after party in one of the rooms of Katie and Matt’s friends from Dartmouth (which, by the way, is where they both attended college). As you are probably well aware, there is absolutely nothing to do at Dartmouth. The most exciting thing that was ever in New Hampshire was the Old Man in the Mountain and even that decided to collapse rather than be forced to remain there. As such they waste away any free time they have by consuming enough alcohol so that they will be sufficiently drunk to forget that they are, in fact, freezing there asses off in New Hampshire. They came well prepared with a wide selection of tasty beverages and were constantly offering refills to cups that started to borderline empty. They weren’t always too particular about what the refill consisted of though, resulting in some strange concoctions including a lovely red wine, Jack Daniels, and Pepsi combination that my sister found herself with. The fact that it didn’t taste too bad should have been an indication of something. They were very good people though, most of whom were rowers and as such enjoyed sharing with me a rousing portrayal of the MIT Launching Cheer. I was also able to impress them with my wonderful MIT trained ability to open a beer bottle with my brass rat, which came in handy when there was not a bottle opener to be found.
The next morning was fun. It started with a loud banging sound. My dad apparently thought it would be funny at 9am to knock on the door to the room I shared with my sister and to claim that he called 45 minutes earlier telling us to be ready. He even was bold enough to say that it was I whom he talked to. I still don’t know how he managed to sneak in and move the phone off the hook and sneak out again. We informed him that his prank wasn’t funny and to leave us alone. After much fussing he finally relented and didn’t bother us again until noon when my parents wanted to have lunch with us. After assuring them repeatedly that we were not hung-over we ventured outside to an overcast day that was somehow blindingly bright. Forcing down enough lunch as to not arouse suspicion was rather painful (and of course all for naught now as they read this, but if they get upset now I’m safely 100s of miles away. /em waves to his sister who is staying with them). The rest of the day consisted of drinking a lot of water, trying not to even think too much about eating or drinking anything else, and getting ready for the actual wedding.
The ceremony was beautiful of course, and the reception was fun. I love my Aunt Linda (Katie’s mom) very much and she did a wonderful job planning everything. I was very amused though to find out that even through all the planning and stress associated with preparing for a wedding like this she still obviously spared some time to consider me. Upon entering the reception and greeting her in the receiving line, she asked me the ubiquitous “so have you met any pretty young girls in Texas yet?” question. I of course was forced to answer in the negative. She then immediately gestured behind me and asked, “by the way have you met this girl, one of Katie’s friends from Dartmouth?” Aunt Linda has always been a bit of a match maker and apparently when someone is pathetically single for as long as I have been now there becomes less need for subtlety. I was also amused to find my assigned dinner seat to be between two extremely attractive young girls. The great awkward moment came when one of them made a comment about how one of her brothers was sitting at another table surrounded by some girls, an obvious set up. She then glanced at me and my younger male cousin sitting on her other side and quiped "as I assume this is." She was a blonde rising senior at UCLA and the other was her brunette sister-in-law. Yeah sister in law, as in married to her other brother (who was seated on the sister-in-law’s other side), so it wasn’t all that perfect. And the hot blonde ended up flirting through dinner with my cousin so it was all for naught. I can take some solace that she too also faced rejection at the end of the night when my cousin was finally forced to admit that he already had a girlfriend. Perhaps it would have been better if my sister were seated at her other side instead of my cousin so she could have been a wingman instead of a distraction (my sister was at another table), but I take it my Aunt did have some other things to worry about this past weekend than my social life. She was obviously disappointed in me though at the end of the night though when I was forced to admit to her that I had not met anyone that night.
Well that’s about it. Best wishes to Katie and Matt. If you would like more stories like this one, make sure that interesting things happen to me. Especially if you or someone you know happens to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Think how entertaining that post would be.
Well finally one of you did something about it. My cousin Katie decided to get married so that I’d have something to talk about. You can all thank her for taking one for the team. It’s good to see someone finally step up and take responsibility for my actions.
So this weekend I flew to New Jersey to bear witness to her matrimony to a guy named Matt. My Dad’s side of the family is not overly close and pretty much only get together for weddings and funerals this was a rather rare chance to see and catch up with everyone. And what better way to catch up than to drink copious amounts of alcohol?
Yeah, so after the rehearsal dinner on Friday my sister, a few of my cousins, and I found ourselves in a slightly inebriated state (read: totally wasted). It was at the rehersal dinner, by the way, that Matt said the little gem of a quote I have in my subject line in a speech describing how fortunate he was to have met Katie. We all laughed at the embaressed boy for several minutes. Anyway, I haven’t had this much to drink in a very long time and I don’t think I have ever had before without invoking the name of “Team Castle.” It really wasn’t our fault, though, as we were present at an after party in one of the rooms of Katie and Matt’s friends from Dartmouth (which, by the way, is where they both attended college). As you are probably well aware, there is absolutely nothing to do at Dartmouth. The most exciting thing that was ever in New Hampshire was the Old Man in the Mountain and even that decided to collapse rather than be forced to remain there. As such they waste away any free time they have by consuming enough alcohol so that they will be sufficiently drunk to forget that they are, in fact, freezing there asses off in New Hampshire. They came well prepared with a wide selection of tasty beverages and were constantly offering refills to cups that started to borderline empty. They weren’t always too particular about what the refill consisted of though, resulting in some strange concoctions including a lovely red wine, Jack Daniels, and Pepsi combination that my sister found herself with. The fact that it didn’t taste too bad should have been an indication of something. They were very good people though, most of whom were rowers and as such enjoyed sharing with me a rousing portrayal of the MIT Launching Cheer. I was also able to impress them with my wonderful MIT trained ability to open a beer bottle with my brass rat, which came in handy when there was not a bottle opener to be found.
The next morning was fun. It started with a loud banging sound. My dad apparently thought it would be funny at 9am to knock on the door to the room I shared with my sister and to claim that he called 45 minutes earlier telling us to be ready. He even was bold enough to say that it was I whom he talked to. I still don’t know how he managed to sneak in and move the phone off the hook and sneak out again. We informed him that his prank wasn’t funny and to leave us alone. After much fussing he finally relented and didn’t bother us again until noon when my parents wanted to have lunch with us. After assuring them repeatedly that we were not hung-over we ventured outside to an overcast day that was somehow blindingly bright. Forcing down enough lunch as to not arouse suspicion was rather painful (and of course all for naught now as they read this, but if they get upset now I’m safely 100s of miles away. /em waves to his sister who is staying with them). The rest of the day consisted of drinking a lot of water, trying not to even think too much about eating or drinking anything else, and getting ready for the actual wedding.
The ceremony was beautiful of course, and the reception was fun. I love my Aunt Linda (Katie’s mom) very much and she did a wonderful job planning everything. I was very amused though to find out that even through all the planning and stress associated with preparing for a wedding like this she still obviously spared some time to consider me. Upon entering the reception and greeting her in the receiving line, she asked me the ubiquitous “so have you met any pretty young girls in Texas yet?” question. I of course was forced to answer in the negative. She then immediately gestured behind me and asked, “by the way have you met this girl, one of Katie’s friends from Dartmouth?” Aunt Linda has always been a bit of a match maker and apparently when someone is pathetically single for as long as I have been now there becomes less need for subtlety. I was also amused to find my assigned dinner seat to be between two extremely attractive young girls. The great awkward moment came when one of them made a comment about how one of her brothers was sitting at another table surrounded by some girls, an obvious set up. She then glanced at me and my younger male cousin sitting on her other side and quiped "as I assume this is." She was a blonde rising senior at UCLA and the other was her brunette sister-in-law. Yeah sister in law, as in married to her other brother (who was seated on the sister-in-law’s other side), so it wasn’t all that perfect. And the hot blonde ended up flirting through dinner with my cousin so it was all for naught. I can take some solace that she too also faced rejection at the end of the night when my cousin was finally forced to admit that he already had a girlfriend. Perhaps it would have been better if my sister were seated at her other side instead of my cousin so she could have been a wingman instead of a distraction (my sister was at another table), but I take it my Aunt did have some other things to worry about this past weekend than my social life. She was obviously disappointed in me though at the end of the night though when I was forced to admit to her that I had not met anyone that night.
Well that’s about it. Best wishes to Katie and Matt. If you would like more stories like this one, make sure that interesting things happen to me. Especially if you or someone you know happens to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Think how entertaining that post would be.
posted by boywondre at 9:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home