Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray…
Sleep. Pure, blissful sleep. Pleasant dreams filled with sugar plums, super models, and world domination. And just when Switzerland is about to break its precedent of neutrality in order to swear fealty to…
…EARTH SHATTERING SIREN….
I was rudely awaken this morning to find that I was no longer surrounded by Victoria’s Secret models / surrendering foreign officials (they can be both), but was in fact back in my apartment. But there was something out of place that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. After only a moment, I realized “oh yeah, it’s the madly deafening fire alarm that is threatening to afflict me with permanent hearing loss.” I looked to my window, and the mother of all storms was raging outside. While I didn’t see a cow flying around, I am quite confident that there surely had to be one given the ferocity in which the wind was blowing. It must have just been soaring behind the other building or something because the nearly constant string of lightning strikes illuminated the entire area very well and I would have had no trouble spotting it if it were in the open. Sneaky cows.
After assuaging my fears that the apocalypse was upon us (I only ever saw three horseman…couldn’t be the end of days), I crawl out of bed (as the fire alarm is persistently implying that I should do). Given the extremely close proximity of those lightening strikes there was definitely a non-trivial chance that the alarm is legitimate. I flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. A quick glance at my clock confirmed that the power was indeed out. After checking my watch (2:00 am), I started to fumble around in the dark for a pair of pants.
Using my backlit cell phone screen to see (who needs a Maglite), I found some pants, my wallet, and my keys. I open up my front door and look around. Several of my neighbors were also poking their heads out, and fortunately none of them appeared to be on fire. Seeing no smoke or anything like that I assumed that I was not in immediate danger, and due to how bad the storm was I was probably more safe staying sheltered in the breezeway than evacuating the building. At any rate, it did not appear that my life was in immediate danger. Having established that, I go back inside to get my cat just in case there was a problem and we really did end up having to evacuate.
Sarek was nowhere to be seen. Like any good cat, he is quite gifted at hiding when he wants to. He has a plethora of spots to choose from…under the bed, behind the couch, etc. I was actually quite impressed with myself in how quickly I found him. I guessed where he would be on my first try. There was really only one place that offered sufficient cover and was as far away from both the windows/storm and the fire alarm speaker that you could get. My closet.
Having located Sarek, I needed to prepare him for potential travel. This was the fun part. My cat was in full Swiss Army knife mode, absolutely terrified of the raging storm outside and the piercing alarm inside. Now all I had to do was forcibly shove him (and his claws) in a tiny cardboard box. In the dark.
After an epic battle worthy of Homer I was finally able to get this poor cat in his carrier (and the doctors say that I may regain most of the use of my arm). Sarek in hand, I head back out into the breezeway and sit just outside my door and try to reassure my poor kitty. After about 20 minutes of the alarm going off (just enough time to ensure that if there really had been a fire we all would have died) the fire truck shoes up. Several firemen go up and down the stairs to verify that nothing is wrong. After about 5-10 more minutes, they finally turn off the alarm and leave. The storm had mostly died down at this point. Very tired, I go back inside and let my cat out. The power is still out, so I set my phone as my alarm. I crawl back into bed and try to fall asleep.
About 15 minutes later, the power comes back and all the lights I tried to turn on in my initial confusion now pop on, pulling me out of any potential sleep I may have fallen into. I get up, turn the lights off, and reset my actual alarm clock (grumbling that at this point, 3:00 am, I am setting it for only 3 hours in the future).
Suck.
…EARTH SHATTERING SIREN….
I was rudely awaken this morning to find that I was no longer surrounded by Victoria’s Secret models / surrendering foreign officials (they can be both), but was in fact back in my apartment. But there was something out of place that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. After only a moment, I realized “oh yeah, it’s the madly deafening fire alarm that is threatening to afflict me with permanent hearing loss.” I looked to my window, and the mother of all storms was raging outside. While I didn’t see a cow flying around, I am quite confident that there surely had to be one given the ferocity in which the wind was blowing. It must have just been soaring behind the other building or something because the nearly constant string of lightning strikes illuminated the entire area very well and I would have had no trouble spotting it if it were in the open. Sneaky cows.
After assuaging my fears that the apocalypse was upon us (I only ever saw three horseman…couldn’t be the end of days), I crawl out of bed (as the fire alarm is persistently implying that I should do). Given the extremely close proximity of those lightening strikes there was definitely a non-trivial chance that the alarm is legitimate. I flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. A quick glance at my clock confirmed that the power was indeed out. After checking my watch (2:00 am), I started to fumble around in the dark for a pair of pants.
Using my backlit cell phone screen to see (who needs a Maglite), I found some pants, my wallet, and my keys. I open up my front door and look around. Several of my neighbors were also poking their heads out, and fortunately none of them appeared to be on fire. Seeing no smoke or anything like that I assumed that I was not in immediate danger, and due to how bad the storm was I was probably more safe staying sheltered in the breezeway than evacuating the building. At any rate, it did not appear that my life was in immediate danger. Having established that, I go back inside to get my cat just in case there was a problem and we really did end up having to evacuate.
Sarek was nowhere to be seen. Like any good cat, he is quite gifted at hiding when he wants to. He has a plethora of spots to choose from…under the bed, behind the couch, etc. I was actually quite impressed with myself in how quickly I found him. I guessed where he would be on my first try. There was really only one place that offered sufficient cover and was as far away from both the windows/storm and the fire alarm speaker that you could get. My closet.
Having located Sarek, I needed to prepare him for potential travel. This was the fun part. My cat was in full Swiss Army knife mode, absolutely terrified of the raging storm outside and the piercing alarm inside. Now all I had to do was forcibly shove him (and his claws) in a tiny cardboard box. In the dark.
After an epic battle worthy of Homer I was finally able to get this poor cat in his carrier (and the doctors say that I may regain most of the use of my arm). Sarek in hand, I head back out into the breezeway and sit just outside my door and try to reassure my poor kitty. After about 20 minutes of the alarm going off (just enough time to ensure that if there really had been a fire we all would have died) the fire truck shoes up. Several firemen go up and down the stairs to verify that nothing is wrong. After about 5-10 more minutes, they finally turn off the alarm and leave. The storm had mostly died down at this point. Very tired, I go back inside and let my cat out. The power is still out, so I set my phone as my alarm. I crawl back into bed and try to fall asleep.
About 15 minutes later, the power comes back and all the lights I tried to turn on in my initial confusion now pop on, pulling me out of any potential sleep I may have fallen into. I get up, turn the lights off, and reset my actual alarm clock (grumbling that at this point, 3:00 am, I am setting it for only 3 hours in the future).
Suck.
posted by boywondre at 4:34 PM
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